So I’ve been footling around with a new (to me) iPad app called Penultimate which is a handwriting app. I’m using it with a stylus which is taking a bit of getting used to and have been recording the results in a e-notebook. Here’s a bunch of doggerel from day 2. I wonder if I’ll improve.
Ah but c’mon, who’s going to crack out their perfectly good albeit slightly yellowing gnashers and pack ’em off somewhere to be whitened by someone who has dazzling, sterile bicuspids and a white coat, beaming her way round a lab stacked with orphaned enamels, perched expectantly in their slots waiting for the moment of truth, the application of a mildly bleaching gel to enwhiten their flagging smile.
The mere thought of that makes me want to cry, and as a proud possessor of one very slightly chipped front tooth, a chip commissioned on the very day that Michael McDowell (Mícheál Mac Dubhghaill) lost his seat (the 24th of May 2007), I can state that Online Teeth Whitening isn’t my bag. No thanks, nein danke, no-sir-re-Bob. My chip was the making of me and the undoing of the Rotweiller. I suppose you could say he was to blame; I was celebrating his undoing and misjudged my tasting of a dressing I was preparing at the time, my tooth coming into close and calamitous contact with a pestle (or was it the mortar?) thus depriving me of my unblemished gnasher. The fact that I’d taken the celebrations quite seriously and was south of a few G&Ts is germane.
I might at a push change my toothpaste though. I feel I’m in a bit of a rut toothpaste-wise, having been a follower of that pink stuff that smells of Wintergreen, maybe it’s time for a change. The country is looking for entrepreneurs at this time, I’m thinking of developing an Absinthe toothpaste of my own recipe. Any takers? I’m looking for backing.
Just one more thing about the ad, I love that it offers “live help”. That makes my day and my smile all the brighter.
I can’t remember when I first read about the Coelacanth, but I was smallish, maybe 9 or ten. I remember being fascinated and horrified by the thoughts of this monstrous, Cretaceous fish being dragged up from the deep, confounding both fishermen and scientists with its antiquity. It’s ugly, it’s big and it’s blue. Mr. E’s image of the coelacanth above has brought me back to when I was a kid and reminded me of that fascination once again.
I suppose this has got me thinking about what a Lazarus Taxon is. Officially it’s a species which was presumed extinct, only to show up again sometime more recently. These fish reappeared in 1938 after being missing for, uh, about 65 million years. That’s quite a gap. There are pretty rational arguments why this gap exists, mostly to do with the fish dying out in shallow waters and being happiest in deeper waters where fossil records are like hens’ teeth. Maybe that’s not the best analogy (simile?)
Is there a modern equivalent in the shorter term? I wonder if Lord Lucan is a Lazarus all of his own, after all he’d only be 73 if still alive. Maybe some of those people who have skedaddled off into the sunset never to be seen again will one day do their own Taxon Thing and regale us all with tales of murky waters deep.
I may have to expand this to the Elvis and Zombie Taxons.