misc: this caught my eye


Ah but c’mon, who’s going to crack out their perfectly good albeit slightly yellowing gnashers and pack ’em off somewhere to be whitened by someone who has dazzling, sterile bicuspids and a white coat, beaming her way round a lab stacked with orphaned enamels, perched expectantly in their slots waiting for the moment of truth, the application of a mildly bleaching gel to enwhiten their flagging smile.

The mere thought of that makes me want to cry, and as a proud possessor of one very slightly chipped front tooth, a chip commissioned on the very day that Michael McDowell (Mícheál Mac Dubhghaill) lost his seat (the 24th of May 2007), I can state that Online Teeth Whitening isn’t my bag. No thanks, nein danke, no-sir-re-Bob. My chip was the making of me and the undoing of the Rotweiller. I suppose you could say he was to blame; I was celebrating his undoing and misjudged my tasting of a dressing I was preparing at the time, my tooth coming into close and calamitous contact with a pestle (or was it the mortar?) thus depriving me of my unblemished gnasher. The fact that I’d taken the celebrations quite seriously and was south of a few G&Ts is germane.

I might at a push change my toothpaste though. I feel I’m in a bit of a rut toothpaste-wise, having been a follower of that pink stuff that smells of Wintergreen, maybe it’s time for a change. The country is looking for entrepreneurs at this time, I’m thinking of developing an Absinthe toothpaste of my own recipe. Any takers? I’m looking for backing.

Just one more thing about the ad, I love that it offers “live help”. That makes my day and my smile all the brighter.

nearly every sickness is from the teeth

So says Sergeant Pluck from Flann O’Brien’s The Third Policeman.

There’s nothing worse than having to tell a person that they have seriously bad halitosis. It could even be worse than telling them that you’ve accidentally run over their dog or your cat has eaten their budgie. But the reality is that you’re not only doing them a favour in the social sense, you could also be saving their life. Not to be melodramatic or anything. Anyway, I was reading in an article recently that oral hygiene is possibly more important than we would like to believe. Peridontal disease may exacerbate diabetes, heart disease, respiratory disease – even premature births, experts say. So the fictional policeman may have been speaking more than a modicum of sense.

Working in an industry that requires a certain amount of face time in meatspace, one has got to be careful, but for our less fastidious brothers and sisters: beware! Oral bacteria may find their way into your bloodstream and cause inflammation of other body tissues as well as eliciting olfactory distaste and unpleasantness from you peers.

Brush twice a day and floss at night. And do it well.